Case studies: Lisa and Adam

The Family

Lisa is a single mother with a 7-year-old son, Adam. She says she never bonded with him as a baby and that raising him just felt like going through the motions. She didn’t know what to feel for him. Lisa says she doesn’t think her mum knew how to love her either. From the age of 5 she lived with her grandmother and then her aunt before ending up in care. Lisa's husband left when Adam was very young. She says that at the time she was a wreck and Adam was stuck in the middle. He started with temper tantrums as a toddler and has never stopped. He would get frustrated at school and flip, throwing himself on the floor or against tables and hitting himself. School frequently phoned Lisa about his behaviour and she hated picking him up from school as she always felt criticised. School are now doing a full assessment of Adam as they think he may be autistic. He has a learning age of about 5.

The Referral

Lisa's aunt phoned social services for her. School had phoned again about Adam's behaviour and Lisa felt she had had enough. She took Adam to her aunt's as she felt she just couldn't take him home. She says at that point she really didn't care what happened. She just wanted someone to take him off her. Lisa frequently left Adam with babysitters and worked evenings to minimise the time they spent together and had left him 3 times with friends to go on holiday without him. She was on the brink of asking for him to be taken into care. Lisa says calling social services was a serious cry for help, but once they got involved she knew she had to calm down.

The Support Care Placement

The social worker responded by offering Lisa and Adam planned short breaks, so Adam had consistency of care. She also put in place intensive family support. The Support Care placement was arranged twice a week after school and continued over 5 months. The carers picked Adam up from school and brought him home about 7.30pm. It meant Lisa had a break from the fear of criticism at school and when he did come home they could enjoy bedtime rather than Lisa feeling she just wanted him in bed as soon as possible. Adam tried staying over night once but didn't like it, so the placement continued with just visits after school. The carers were able to work with Adam's behaviour and share with Lisa what worked. In addition the family support team offered counselling and intensive support to help Lisa feel more positive about her parenting.

The Outcome

With the help of the Support Carers and therapists, Lisa realised that she missed Adam when he was away. The Support Care allowed Lisa to "recharge her batteries". Counselling helped her with past issues and the family support boosted her confidence in parenting.

"The placement has really helped Lisa. Gave her the break she needed and the space to look at the way she was parenting. It's been a really big turn around from when we first got the referral. She really has coped with a lot."
Social worker

"I wanted them to take him off me but they didn’t. They gave us loads of help. It was brilliant to know the break was coming twice a week. Adam and me have a relationship now. Something to build on. Without the help of the team and the support carers there’s no way I could have done that."
Lisa